Logan Williams’ death left a gaping hole in the Stadnyk family’s life, and they want people to understand what living with autism looks like
Stadnyk wants two things: for people to hold their loved ones tight, and to understand what autism really is.
It’s not Dustin Hoffman in Rain Main. It’s not caused by prenatal Tylenol use. It’s not mere shyness or social awkwardness.
“I think autism awareness is really the message we want to put out,” said Stadnyk. “Because I’m tired of this (lack of understanding). … There’s a lot of people saying, ‘Oh, they’re just different.’ ‘They’re geniuses,’ or this and that.
“They don’t understand what real autism is like. … They don’t really understand the real challenge that people face, of real autism. They can’t function by themselves.
“When you decide to have children, it shouldn’t be a lottery where your life trajectory is changed. You will try your best for them, but … we just need to stop this. Do something for the future parents.”
Stadnyk left home for work on Wednesday morning. Security footage showed him leaving at 6:40 a.m., and captured the first wisps of smoke begin to rise from the house 10 minutes later.
It started in Logan’s room, where Lucas said his son had an “obsession” with electrical outlets and plugs. No cause of the fire that destroyed the house and all their possessions has been determined, but Stadnyk suspects it might have to do with Logan’s predilection for playing with electrical devices.
His mom heard the smoke detector go off, and opened Logan’s door to a wall of impenetrable flame. She frantically called his name, but couldn’t see him, and rushed to get his four siblings to safety.
“By the time my wife discovered it, (the fire) had engulfed his whole room,” said Stadnyk. “They tried to calling into the room, reaching the room, but they couldn’t enter. It was just too much of an inferno.
“It was just enough time to get the rest of the kids out.”
As Stadnyk tried to rush home — reversing the dump truck he was driving to reach a highway exit — Sarah and a friend attempted to break the glass of Logan’s bedroom window from outside. They couldn’t see or reach him.
His body was found later in a different part of the house.
Being non-verbal, he wouldn’t have cried out for help.
Stadnyk said Logan’s brother and three sisters are all on the autism spectrum as well, though he was the only non-verbal one. Parenting one special-needs child is a challenge for any family, but having several kids who need extra care is a huge burden that few parents of neurotypical children can fathom.
“Our four remaining children, they’re all on spectrum in different ways. Logan was by far (the most affected),” said Stadnyk. “Our daughters can hold a conversation, and our other son, he can talk, and he has enough (speech) that with some help, I think he’ll be all right. He’s going to have to live in a home or … have to have assisted living.
“A lot of times, you have an autistic child, but you might have a child that’s not autistic, and that child could maybe like a guardian (to them). But then, when you don’t have any of that …” he said, trailing off into a quiet sob.
They had been renting the house from Stadnyk’s mother, who had insurance, but they didn’t have renters’ insurance. They’ve been housed in a hotel by emergency services, but that only lasts a few days.
Stadnyk’s plan is to get a trailer for his family and park it on the property for when the house — hopefully — is rebuilt.
“Honestly, the biggest thing is housing,” he said, when asked what the family needed most. He said a trailer is their only choice. “With rent nowadays, there’s no way I could ever afford a place that would house us properly.”
The family has appreciated the donations of shoes and clothes, and even the furniture they’ve had to decline because they have no roof to put it under. The Langley Seniors Resource Society at 20605 51B Ave., is accepting donations on their behalf this week, from Jan. 12-16, between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m., though large items like mattresses, furniture or bedding can’t be accepted.
A GoFundMe campaign started by a family friend has raised more than $32,000 for the family as of Friday night.
Stadnyk said Logan’s younger siblings are struggling, to understand where their brother is, and grief has enveloped the family.
“He was everything. He still is everything,” his mother said through tears on Friday.
“Hug (your kids) so tight and give them so many hugs and kisses. Because you never know. Just love your baby. Love your babies. Love them extra hard, because what I would do to give (Logan) one more hug.”