Taylor Frankie Paul Shares Post About ‘Ugly Parts’ of ‘Healing’ After Learning She Won’t Face New Domestic Violence Charges

Taylor Frankie Paul is opening up about what she called the “ugly parts” of “healing,” just days after prosecutors announced that they would not be pursuing charges against her following several domestic violence allegations.

In an Instagram post shared on Sunday, April 19, the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star, 31, wrote about living through “public atrocity” after two Utah police departments said in February that they had opened separate domestic violence investigations into alleged altercations between Paul and her ex-boyfriend Dakota Mortensen, who share a 2-year-old son, Ever.

“Here come the ugly parts of what healing actually looks like,” Paul wrote in the caption of her post, alongside several mirror selfies showing her body. “If you know me you know I’ll admit my parts, flaws and faults. I’m well aware that’s a part of it. We’ll get there.”

“This public atrocity that I not only lived through once but twice now, on even a bigger scale was ultimately the cost to my freedom,” she continued in part. “I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy or even the ones who publicized it. I cried on my knees in pain while also saying THANK YOU 🙏🏼.”

“We have a road ahead but regardless I’m forever freed from a certain living hell I couldn’t find my way out of,” the mom of three wrote. “Somehow I’m still here… as we can see barely because I believe God held me through and sent help plus an army which makes me cry because, thank you to all of you that supported even without full context 🙏🏼.”

“God undoubtedly had a hand in this,” Paul continued, “because after waiting 7 weeks on the 7th day EXACTLY I received the call all charges dropped. …We’re working on eating, movement, rest, and retraining the nervous system. I’ll be sharing the process, because if my worst is shared, better bet I’ll share the rebuilding, too.”

In a follow-up post on her Instagram Stories on Sunday, Paul wrote that she was “diagnosed with PTSD about two years ago which I assume is now cptsd…by more than one therapist for all those that assumed diagnoses.”

Paul was arrested in 2023 for an alleged domestic violence incident in which she was accused of throwing metal chairs at Mortensen, 33, while her then-5-year-old daughter, Indy, was in the room. Though the arrest took place in 2023, the incident came under new scrutiny in March after a video of the altercation — showing Paul yelling, putting Mortensen in a headlock and throwing chairs at him while a child could be heard crying — was published by TMZ.

The Draper City Police Department confirmed to PEOPLE on March 16 that there was an open “domestic assault investigation” involving Paul and Mortensen. A spokesperson said that “allegations have been made in both directions” and “contact was made with involved parties on [Feb.] 24 and 25.”

Additionally, on March 25, the West Jordan Police Department confirmed to PEOPLE that there was a separate “active domestic violence case” involving Paul and Mortensen. A spokesperson said that Mortensen contacted police at the end of February and had spoken to police in March as part of the investigation. The spokesperson also said that Mortensen had submitted a video, which police believed was dated to “early-to-mid 2024,” but declined to share further details amid the ongoing investigation.

Mortensen filed for a protective order against Paul on March 19. Paul filed for a protective order of her own against Mortensen on April 7, alleging that he had a “pattern of abusive conduct and coercive control” in their relationship and detailing several incidents during which he allegedly acted violently toward her.

On April 14, the Salt Lake County District Attorney’s Office announced in a press release that it would not be pursuing charges against Paul. According to the release, the cases were reviewed by “multiple attorneys” because of the “high profile of the defendant.”

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The district attorney’s office said that several of the alleged incidents investigated by police took place more than two years ago — meaning they fall outside of the statute of limitations — and other alleged incidents “do not rise to the level of criminal offenses” or lack “sufficient evidence to support filing criminal charges.”

During an April 7 hearing, a judge granted Mortensen custody of son Ever, with up to eight hours per week of visitation for Paul supervised by a paid supervisor or someone vetted by the guardian ad litem. The arrangement is in effect until the pair’s next hearing on April 30, when the judge will review their competing protective orders.

Hours after the video of the 2023 incident was released by TMZ, ABC called off Paul’s already-filmed season of The Bachelorette days before its scheduled premiere.

A rep for Paul previously told PEOPLE that the video “conveniently omits context” and called its release a “reprehensible attempt [by Mortensen] to distract from his own behavior.”

Mortensen later pushed back in a statement to PEOPLE, writing, “I am, unfortunately, used to these baseless claims about me and our relationship, which I categorically deny.” For the 2023 incident, Paul pleaded guilty in abeyance to aggravated assault and the other charges were dropped.

PEOPLE also confirmed in March that the fifth season of Mormon Wives had paused production after several of Paul’s castmates refused to film with her.

Jessi Draper came out as Paul’s first Secret Lives of Mormon Wives costar to share her support after it was announced that she would not be facing additional charges.

Draper shared a photo of Paul on her Instagram Stories on April 15, along with the caption, “So freaking proud of my resilient, strong and beautiful friend ❤️ @taylorfrankiepaul ily more than words.”

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.